Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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