put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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