Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
