Tell her she can't have a vagina
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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