yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My pussy is not your playground.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize