ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
