Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
