3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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