I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
