They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
