let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
