at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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