u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
