I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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