the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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