There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Even my vagina gasped.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
