happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
then he tried to convert me to islam
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
