and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
