The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
