Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
