Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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