Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
