Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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