it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
