No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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