I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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