She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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