i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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