So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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