Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
4 words: hood of his car
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
