I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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