"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
