Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
