Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
