I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
one two three fourrrrnication!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
