so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
