In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
