I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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