Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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