U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
