This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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