my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize