Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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