I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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