Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We got so high we made milksteak
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
