We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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