Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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