I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just saw a hot homeless man
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
