put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Randomize
