Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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