Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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