you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
