If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
