its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
