Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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