Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
