he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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