Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize