My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
