Do you still have your period?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
