We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she smelled like a LAN party
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
