it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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