I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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