two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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