is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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