dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
