U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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